Today marks one year that Casey has been gone from our lives. There have been times that I sit and really think about the reality of it and my stomach turns. There have been times that I cry until I feel like my core will turn inside out. But I feel strong. I feel like this past year hasn't been as hard as I expected. I know that the peace of God has been with me and I cling to it. I can't imagine going through something like this and not have that peace. That peace that passes all understanding. Because I don't understand and I'm not sure that I ever will. What I do know is that God is a healer and I know that I will see Casey again.
I went to the grave site yesterday. I haven't been since the funeral. I saw the headstone for the first time - it wasn't what I expected and there was no room for my flowers. But I decided today that gravesites are for people who don't know the Lord. They are for the people who have no hope of seeing their loved ones again. They are for people who don't know how to cling to that peace that passes their understanding - and my heart goes out to them.
If you knew Casey - think of her. There were so many wonderful things about her and I miss her greatly. I will never stop missing her and I never want to.
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